170+ Best Michael Scott Quotes That'll Make You Laugh

Michael Scott, the lovable and often misguided regional manager of The Office, is a character known for his memorable quotes. His comedic, yet occasionally profound statements, offer a unique blend of humor, awkwardness, and wisdom. Whether it’s a well-timed “That’s what she said” or an unexpectedly motivational remark, Michael’s quotes continue to resonate with fans, making them some of the most iconic lines in TV history. His awkward leadership style and genuine, if misguided, attempts at wisdom have made him a memorable figure, with his quotes often being quoted and cherished by fans.

Michael Scott Quotes

“That’s what she said.”
“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“I declare bankruptcy!”
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
“I’m an early bird and a night owl.”
“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going.”
“I am running away from my responsibilities.”
“I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both.”
“Dwight, you ignorant slut!”

Best Michael Scott Quotes

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky – Michael Scott”
“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.”
“I’m friends with everybody in this office.”
“It’s never too early for ice cream.”
“I am dead inside.”
“I saved a life. My own.”
“Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things.”
“I understand nothing.”

Funny Michael Scott Quotes

“I am not to be truffled with.”
“I’m prison Mike!”
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
“I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other.”
“Dwight, you ignorant slut!”
“I love babies. I think they’re the best.”
“St. Patrick’s Day is the closest the Irish will ever get to Christmas.”
“This is an environment of welcoming.”
“Sometimes you have to be the boss of dancing.”
“I’m not a hero. I’m a mere defender of the office.”

Michael Scott Quotes About Work

“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both.”
“The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends.”
“I am a great manager. I’ve won awards.”
“I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible.”
“Catch you on the flippity flip!”
“I did not see that coming.”
“Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are just too flashy.”
“They say on your deathbed, you never wish you spent more time at the office. False!”
“I work hard. I play hard.”
“I am not going to apologize for being successful.”

Famous Michael Scott Quotes

“That’s what she said.”
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
“I declare bankruptcy!”
“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“Dwight, you ignorant slut!”
“Sometimes I start a sentence…”
“I am running away from my responsibilities.”
“I’m not superstitious, but…”
“I understand nothing.”

Michael Scott Quotes About Love

“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
“I love you and I like you.”
“I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.”
“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“I think I made the right choice.”
“You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?”
“Engaged ain’t married.”
“Love is the water of life.”
“This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole life.”
“I saved a life. My own.”

Michael Scott Quotes About Life

“Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse.”
“Sometimes I start a sentence and don’t know where it’s going.”
“I am dead inside.”
“I’m not superstitious, just a little stitious.”
“I want to be wine and dined.”
“You don’t know me. You just saw me drive a car.”
“It’s never too early for ice cream.”
“I’m an early bird and a night owl.”
“I’m the best boss.”
“The worst thing about prison was the Dementors.”

The Office Michael Scott Quotes

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
“I declare bankruptcy!”
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both.”
“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
“I’m an early bird and a night owl.”
“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence…”
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
“I am dead inside.”
“I love inside jokes.”

Inspirational Michael Scott Quotes

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both.”
“The people you work with are your best friends.”
“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
“Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.”
“You have no idea how high I can fly.”
“I saved a life. My own.”
“Catch you on the flippity flip!”
“Make friends first, make sales second.”
“I’m an idea machine.”

Funniest Michael Scott Quotes

“I declare bankruptcy!”
“Dwight, you ignorant slut!”
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
“Sometimes I start a sentence…”
“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“The worst thing about prison was the Dementors.”
“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
“This is an environment of welcoming.”
“I am running away from my responsibilities.”
“Boom. Roasted.”

Michael Scott Quotes Funny

“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“That’s what she said.”
“I declare bankruptcy!”
“Dwight, you ignorant slut!”
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
“I love inside jokes. I’d love to be part of one someday.”
“Sometimes I start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going.”
“I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.”
“You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?”
“I am dead inside.”

Michael Scott Quotes About Working Hard

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
“I work hard. I play hard.”
“I’m not superstitious, just a little stitious—and very committed.”
“Do I need to be liked? No. But it’s not like I enjoy being hated.”
“Catch you on the flippity flip!”
“I am the hardest-working boss here. Or anywhere.”
“Sometimes I’ll work late… if there’s pizza.”
“Work is life. Life is work. Or something like that.”
“Hard work beats hardly working.”
“I’m a friend first. Boss second. Probably entertainer third.”

Motivational Michael Scott Quotes

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
“You have no idea how high I can fly.”
“Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.”
“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
“I’m an idea machine.”
“Make friends first, make sales second.”
“I saved a life. My own.”
“It takes a big man to admit when he’s wrong. I am not a big man.”
“I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.”

Michael Scott Quotes Don’t Ever for Any Reason

“Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what.”
“No matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you’ve been.”
“Ever, for any reason whatsoever.”
“Don’t ever do anything… ever.”
“For any reason—ever.”
“Don’t quote me, but quote me.”
“No matter the time, or the place. Never.”
“For no reason, ever.”
“Don’t even think about doing something for some reason.”
“Because reasons don’t matter. Ever.”

Michael Scott Quotes Inspirational

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
“You have no idea how high I can fly.”
“Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss who’s always trying to teach people things.”
“The people you work with are your very best friends.”
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both.”
“I’m an early bird and a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.”
“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“Make friends first, make sales second.”
“Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse.”
“I saved a life. My own.”

Office Michael Scott Quotes

“That’s what she said.”
“I declare bankruptcy!”
“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
“I am running away from my responsibilities.”
“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“Dwight, you ignorant slut!”
“I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.”
“I’m not superstitious, just a little stitious.”
“I’m the best boss.”
“Sometimes I start a sentence and don’t know where it’s going.”

Top Michael Scott Quotes

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky – Michael Scott”
“That’s what she said.”
“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“I declare bankruptcy!”
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
“I am dead inside.”
“Sometimes I start a sentence…”
“Dwight, you ignorant slut!”
“I saved a life. My own.”

Michael Scott Quotes About Business

“Make friends first, make sales second, love third.”
“Business is like a jungle. You either eat or be eaten.”
“I’m the best boss.”
“Do I need to be liked? No. But it’s not like I enjoy being hated.”
“Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are just too flashy.”
“I’m an idea machine.”
“People will never go out of business.”
“I am a Michael Scott Paper Company success story.”
“Sales is all about people.”
“Catch you on the flippity flip!”

Michael Scott Quotes Wallpaper

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
“That’s what she said.”
“You have no idea how high I can fly.”
“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
“I am Beyoncé, always.”
“I saved a life. My own.”
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both.”
“Make friends first, make sales second.”
“Sometimes I start a sentence…”
“I am running away from my responsibilities.”

Michael Scott Quotes About Being a Boss

“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both.”
“I’m the best boss.”
“The world’s best boss. I bought this mug myself.”
“I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
“I’m a friend first. Boss second. Probably entertainer third.”
“Sometimes you have to be the boss of dancing.”
“I am not to be truffled with.”
“I am a great boss. I’ve won awards.”
“Do I need to be liked? No.”
“Leadership is about taking responsibility… and having fun.”

Conclusion

Michael Scott’s quotes remain timeless due to their humor, relatability, and occasional depth. They capture his unique character—one that is flawed, but also surprisingly heartfelt. From his leadership attempts to his awkward humor, Michael’s words remind us of the complexities of being human: trying hard, failing sometimes, but always persevering. Whether you’re quoting his hilarious moments or reflecting on his more thoughtful lines, Michael Scott’s quotes continue to bring joy, laughter, and some unexpected life lessons to fans everywhere. His legacy as a memorable, comedic boss lives on through these unforgettable lines.

170+ Best Michael Scott Quotes That’ll Make You Laugh