
Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, family, and, let’s be honest—some much-needed laughter. Between carving the turkey and dodging awkward dinner table conversations, a dose of humor goes a long way. Funny Thanksgiving quotes bring light-hearted joy to the holiday, turning potential stress into smiles. Whether you’re sharing them on a letter board, posting on social media, or just breaking the ice with guests, these witty one-liners and clever jokes add extra flavor to the feast. From turkey troubles to pie puns, these quotes remind us that laughter is something else to be thankful for this season.
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
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“Calories don’t count on Thanksgiving… right?”
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“Talk turkey to me!”
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“Leftovers are for quitters.”
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“Keep calm and gobble on.”
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“That’s one thankful bird… I’m not eating it.”
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“Let’s give thanks and elastic waistbands.”
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“Gravy is my love language.”
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“Don’t be a jerky—pass the turkey!”
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“I came, I saw, I conquered the pie.”
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“Pumpkin spice and everything nice… except family drama.”
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile
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“Thanksgiving: when my diet takes a nap.”
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“Pie: the real reason for the season.”
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“I’m thankful for naps and snacks.”
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“Thanksgiving—where pants go to die.”
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“Family, food, and awkward questions.”
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“Just here for the stuffing.”
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“Gobble ‘til you wobble!”
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“T-day: Eat, nap, repeat.”
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“Cranberry sauce: the great divider.”
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“My turkey spirit animal is overcooked and stressed.”
Humor Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
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“Turkeys would vote against this holiday.”
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“I’m thankful the relatives leave tomorrow.”
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“Thanksgiving: turning hugs into handshakes since forever.”
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“Don’t trust anyone who skips dessert.”
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“Feast mode: activated.”
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“Family drama, now with stuffing!”
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“Guilt-free gluttony day!”
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“The bird is dry, but the wine isn’t.”
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“Turkey: the original food coma dealer.”
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“Let’s get basted!”
Short Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
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“I yam what I yam.”
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“Give thanks… and then eat pie.”
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“Too full to function.”
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“Grateful for stretchy pants.”
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“More rolls? Yes, please!”
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“Turkey today, treadmill tomorrow.”
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“I’m just here for dessert.”
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“Winging it this Thanksgiving.”
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“Gravy makes everything better.”
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“Let’s give thanks—after this nap.”
Joke Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
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“Why did the turkey join a band? Drumsticks!”
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“Why don’t turkeys eat dessert? They’re already stuffed!”
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“I cran’t believe it’s Thanksgiving again!”
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“Why was the turkey the drummer? He had the drumsticks!”
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“What’s a turkey’s favorite sport? Fowl ball!”
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“I’m into fitness… fitness whole pie in my mouth!”
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“Why do turkeys never tell secrets? They’re always gobbling!”
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“Thanksgiving: where stuffing faces is encouraged.”
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“Why did the scarecrow win? He was outstanding in his field!”
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“This turkey is too fly to fry!”
Jokes Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile
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“What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing, wing!”
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“Stuffing is just soggy bread. Fight me.”
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“Turkey + Pie = Truce at the dinner table.”
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“Why did no one trust the cranberry? It was in a jam.”
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“Let’s talk turkey… after dessert.”
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“Pilgrims: the original party crashers.”
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“Is butter a carb? Asking for a yam.”
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“Who needs therapy when there’s gravy?”
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“Gravy is just meat tea.”
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“Thanksgiving: the Olympics of overeating.”
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Friends
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“Friends who feast together, stay together.”
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“Thankful for friends… and leftovers.”
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“Stuffing our faces and our hearts.”
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“Friends are the gravy on life.”
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“Squad goals: nap after pie.”
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“Let’s get basted, bestie!”
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“Together is better—especially with wine.”
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“You’re the pumpkin to my spice.”
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“Thanksgiving with friends = no judgment!”
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“Here’s to wine, whine, and shine!”
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Kids
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“Gobble gobble, little turkey!”
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“Eat now, nap later!”
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“Pie makes everything better.”
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“Turkey time is the best time!”
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“More mash, less sass!”
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“Feast now, homework never.”
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“Save room for dessert!”
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“Cranberry sauce is sus.”
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“I came for the rolls.”
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“Pilgrim-approved fun!”
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Letter Board
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“Gobble ‘til you wobble.”
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“Thankful, blessed, and mashed potato obsessed.”
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“Stop, drop, and pass the rolls.”
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“Let’s get stuffed.”
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“Feast mode: ON.”
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“Leftovers are my love language.”
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“Give thanks, eat pie, nap.”
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“Talk turkey to me.”
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“Gravy is my spirit animal.”
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“In pies we crust.”
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Short
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“Pass the pie!”
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“Stuffed and happy.”
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“Wine not?”
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“Pumpkin everything!”
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“Give thanks. Eat.”
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“Extra gravy, please.”
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“Eat. Sleep. Repeat.”
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“Cranberry chaos.”
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“Feast beast.”
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“Pie-eyed joy.”
Short Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile
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“I’m all about that baste.”
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“Let’s give thanks and get stuffed!”
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“Stuffing > Everything.”
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“Just one more slice…”
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“Turkey: 0, Me: 1.”
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“Thankful I wore stretchy pants.”
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“Resting turkey face.”
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“Eat, laugh, nap.”
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“Food baby incoming.”
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“Let the stuffing begin!”
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Friends
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“Friends don’t let friends skip pie.”
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“Let’s get basted, bestie!”
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“Feast mode with my faves.”
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“You bring the wine, I’ll bring the sass.”
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“Friendsgiving > everything.”
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“Thankful for friends who overeat with me.”
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“No drama, just gravy with you.”
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“Turkey tastes better with friends.”
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“Stuffed with love and sarcasm.”
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“Cheers to food, friends, and funny moments!”
Happy Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile
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“So thankful I didn’t have to cook!”
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“Gratitude and gravy—what a combo!”
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“Smile! There’s pie.”
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“Thankful, full, and slightly tipsy.”
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“Turkey + laughter = happy heart.”
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“Let’s raise a toast to toast.”
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“Happy T-day—now, where’s dessert?”
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“Feast your heart out!”
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“Happiness is a second slice of pie.”
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“More giggles, less giblets.”
Jokes Joke Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
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“Why did the turkey cross the road? It was Thanksgiving!”
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“I yam what I yam… especially today.”
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“What do you call a running turkey? Fast food!”
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“I cran’t deal with this meal.”
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“What’s a turkey’s least favorite day? Thanksgiving!”
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“Why did the stuffing break up with the turkey? It felt smothered.”
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“What did the sweet potato say? I’m baked!”
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“How do turkeys say hello? Gobble gobble!”
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“Why was the pie so confident? It knew it was filling.”
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“Stuffing is just a socially acceptable bread hug.”
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes from Movies
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“Save the neck for me, Clark!” – Christmas Vacation
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“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” – Kevin James
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“This is Thanksgiving, not Judgment Day.” – Friends
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“I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner! All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast!” – A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
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“It’s not Thanksgiving until the turkey explodes.” – How I Met Your Mother
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“That’s not gravy, that’s a science experiment!” – Friends
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“Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year—and discover once a year is way too often.” – Johnny Carson
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“I’m thankful for not being a turkey.” – Garfield’s Thanksgiving
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“I burned the turkey! Oh my god!” – Friends (Monica)
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“We’re out of stuffing? This is war.” – Modern Family
One-Liners Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile
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“Pass the pie and no one gets hurt.”
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“Gravy is just sauce with a better personality.”
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“Let’s get stuffed—literally.”
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“Stretchy pants: Thanksgiving MVP.”
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“Feast first, questions later.”
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“May your turkey be juicy and your family chill.”
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“Keep calm and cranberry on.”
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“A moment on the lips, a lifetime in the fridge.”
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“Warning: I nap aggressively.”
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“Grateful… mostly for carbs.”
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for Work
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“Teamwork makes the turkey work.”
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“Thankful for PTO and pie.”
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“Gravy over deadlines, any day.”
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“Work hard, nap harder (post-feast).”
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“May your coffee be strong and your coworkers kind.”
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“Office potluck: where dreams (and diets) go to die.”
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“I’m only here for the leftover spreadsheet.”
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“Let’s give thanks… that it’s almost Friday.”
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“Zoom meeting? More like zoom stuffing!”
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“Today’s agenda: eat, nap, repeat.”
Best Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
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“Eat pie, not feelings.”
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“Talk turkey to me.”
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“There’s always room for seconds.”
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“Thankful for elastic waistbands.”
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“I came. I saw. I conquered the gravy boat.”
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“Food before feud.”
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“Cranberry sauce: love it or leave it.”
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“Baste case scenario.”
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“Turkey: the only guest you roast on purpose.”
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“Overcooked but still thankful.”
Family Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
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“Family: where calories and chaos collide.”
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“Love you all—pass the wine!”
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“Too many cooks, not enough wine.”
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“Thankful… even for the weird cousins.”
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“We may be dysfunctional, but we eat well.”
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“Family: feast mode fully activated.”
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“Hugs, turkeys, and childhood trauma.”
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“Let’s agree not to talk politics—again.”
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“Dinner tastes better with family stories (and earplugs).”
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“Our family puts the ‘fun’ in ‘dysfunctional Thanksgiving’.”
Cute Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
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“Cutie pie reporting for duty!”
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“Feast your eyes on this plate!”
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“Little turkey, big appetite.”
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“Cuteness and cranberries everywhere.”
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“Gobble gobble, hug hug!”
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“Pumpkin kisses and turkey wishes.”
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“Sweet as pie, and twice as full.”
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“Tummies and hearts full today!”
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“Tiny hands, big bites.”
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“Waddle I do after all this food?”